Finding The Words
by Mel-Girl
Summary: It was strange. I know this world and yet I don't. Like there's a big gap missing in my life. Why were all the people I saw so different to me? They have to walk, eat, drink, live. And everyone dear to me was always so sad around me. I don't get it. YBxM


**First attempt at a sad-ish story. Yet it kinda ends up okay. I'm not sure. Mostly Thiefshipping but there's hints of Manipulashipping. I enjoyed writing this a lot though so I hope you enjoy reading it! ^^ Hopefully there aren't too many mistakes, haha. XD**

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**Marik's POV**

You try to find the words and you cannot. The feeling of being able to soar through the air and to see him watching you with the slightest of smirks gives me the greatest joy. Wide eyes with the blue skies as a young Egyptian man flies past the birds and past the clouds and eventually he'll lower himself to greet the person he looks forward to seeing each day of his life.

His name is Bakura. He's really knowledgeable. And he was the first person I ever met. Normally the first person you meet is your mother or your father or maybe even the doctor that helps bring you into the world. But no. My first and favourite person is Bakura. When I first woke up to this whole wide world, he was there standing above me. He stared at me with tear-filled eyes and he whispered, "I can see you…" as I sat up. Next there was a light and I don't remember much else.

But Bakura says that I don't have to walk like a normal person anymore. He says I can float and go through walls and everything. I don't have to eat food anymore. I'm a picky eater so it wasn't a big deal to me. He says I don't need to be careful anymore about survival. He says I am free.

In amongst the confusion, he told me I was free. The joy I felt at that very moment was like nothing else I'd ever felt in this world.

It was strange. I know this world and yet I don't. Like there's a big gap missing in my life. Why were all the people I saw so different to me? They have to walk, eat, drink, live. They couldn't pass through walls or anything like that. Bakura doesn't explain to me. He just says that I have to follow him because he knows where to take me. Then he says that we have to travel fast but he fears that means I have to go once we reach the destination.

He tells me that he's sorry. He talks about his life as if it were a bleak and sorry world that he lived in. Nothing in this world could make me care so much than I cared for him. It feels like we've known each other for years but he says it's been a week.

And we arrive at our destination. Bakura looks at me and reaches out to touch my face. His fingers pass through me. It's so strange. When he reaches out to other people, his fingers stop at their skin but with me, it's different. I really don't understand. I'm human too so what's making me so different?

The destination we arrive at is an Italian restaurant – La Casa Pasta. He says we went here often once upon a time. I blink and don't understand. Then we go up to the window. It's night-time so inside is brightly lit and the layout, the furniture, everything… Expensive, romantic… Those were two words to come to mind. Bakura points out a woman of our age and then his next few words surprise me.

"That's your fiancée. And this is the restaurant where you proposed to her."

What?

I have a fiancée? "That can't be right!" I say, grabbing at Bakura's shoulders. My body falls right through him and he chuckles a bit.

"I agree. I mean, Anzu's a good woman and all but uh… I used to wish it were me… that you loved. I uh… But tonight was the night you and her were going to have a romantic dinner," he explains, "because you had a trip and instead of meeting her at your flat and then going out, you wanted to meet her directly at the restaurant. On that trip, you and I were hanging out. As friends. Yeah."

Bakura sounds so sad when he says those words. His eyes are full of regret. I look inside the restaurant and see Anzu. She's beautiful but broken. Why is she so upset? Oh right! I'm not there with her. We've been running late and all! But Bakura, didn't he just say he wished he was the one I loved?

How strange. I do love Bakura; he means the world to me. So how did I end up with Anzu instead? What a strange and complicated world. It really truly does not make sense.

"Why does she look so sad?" I ask anyway.

"Because you're not there," he mumbles in reply. That answer will suffice.

"Should I go to her?"

His eyes tear up and he can't bring himself to answer. He hangs his head low and eventually he answers, "I'm sorry. I really am. I'm sorry I'm acting like this instead of the fun, constantly smirking me. But I hate this. And you're happier this way, aren't you? If you go inside, you may realise. I'm the only one who can respond to you…"

I blink a couple of times. "Why is that?"

He doesn't answer. I want to find the words to bring back a more positive attitude but there are none. Yet his words make just a little sense. I feel like I can remember once upon a time where Bakura and I would pass notes in school and he'd tease me constantly about looking rather feminine for a guy. How come I didn't remember this before?

Eventually I gave up on Bakura and decided to go inside. Anzu might find it weird if I float through the window and onto the seat. So I'll behave as normal as possible. A man was opening the door into the restaurant for his girlfriend so I scooted on past. How do I walk? I have to stop floating. So I lower my feet to the ground and stroll over to the table Anzu is seated at. Her head hangs low and to most people, she seems to be looking down at the menu placed in front of her. But I know she's sunk into misery.

"Anzu," I say gently, reaching out to touch her hand as I placed myself in the seat opposite hers."It's me, Marik. I'm sorry I'm late. But I'm here now."

"...I miss you, Marikun..." she whispers as she chokes back a sob. I smile – it feels like home whenever she calls me by that nickname. It's strange how dear Bakura is to me since the day I woke up and yet I feel that Anzu is important to me also. "...Did you know that while you and Bakura-kun were away partying at Otogi-kun's, that Shizuka-chan taught me how to knit?"

My eyebrows raise in curiosity. "Is that so? Finally getting into that sort of stuff?"

"Yeah," she replies, "I know knitting isn't really my thing but it's coming up to winter so I wanted to learn how and make scarves. Seeing as the stains from your current one refuse to wash out and all, Marikun. But you had that scarf for years and now..." her azure eyes begin to water. "It's irreplaceable to me..."

"Hey now," I laugh nervously, "I'd love to have a brand new scarf knitted by you! So long as you don't make too many mistakes!"

"...Just like how... you're irreplaceable to me, Marikun!" she sobs, pressing her head to the table and muffling her cries.

Again.

It's happening again.

My presence seems to bring people pain.

Why is it that whenever people talk to me, there's such sadness in their eyes, like they're going to break down in a snap? It's too much for me to bear.

Bakura's been my best friend since I first moved to Japan. He knows me better than the back of his hand and likewise too. On his face was always that smirk and he always had an opinion on everything, good or bad and he'd always express his opinion too. Our days were full of fun and while our backgrounds weren't great, we could pull through because we were strong and together, we were an unbeatable pair.

Anzu was the first girl I'd ever made friends with. At first she seemed like one of the guys among that group of friends of hers – Yugi, Jounouchi, Honda and Otogi. Then one day I saw her dance and I realised her beauty. It was odd because Bakura kept saying neither of us would date and we'd be partners for life. Yet when he realised I liked Anzu, he said to me with eyes that told he'd regret saying this, "You go for it, Marik."

Both were important people to me and I think deep down, I loved both with all my heart. I think I can remember a time not too long ago... A time before I woke up and the world around me had changed. Where I began to wonder if I was supposed to be with Bakura all along. Yet my family were so happy about me being with Anzu and Anzu loved me that I felt obligated to love her too and want to marry her.

But then there's Bakura... I feel like a couple of weekends ago Anzu wanted us to spend the week organising our plans for the wedding but Bakura said Otogi was throwing a party and wanted me to go with him to it. As Bakura was the one inviting me, I knew I had to go. That's just how it is. And the party itself was crazy and full of fun. I told Anzu that instead of meeting back at the apartment, I'd meet her at this restaurant La Casa Pasta. This restaurant served the best Italian food and we were friends with some of the staff. It was important to Bakura and I because it was the first restaurant we went to when we could afford a restaurant for dinner instead of fast food. It was important to Anzu and I because I proposed to her here.

Bakura...

Anzu...

Why am I making them so sad?

My eyes light up at the waiter's approach. It's Antonio! Anzu wipes her eyes and sits up. "Anzu, I didn't think you'd be ready to come back here," he comments with a slight smile. She doesn't answer, sniffing a little instead. "Normally because of when you arrived, we'd take a bit longer to get to your order but when you were sitting there talking to yourself; I thought I'd check up on ya!"

...Talking to yourself? "But Antonio, I'm right here! It's me, Marik! Ya know, the guy obsessed with vegetarian pasta?" He ignores me and asks for Anzu's order.

"...My usual... Bring Marikun's favourite too...You know," Anzu responds. I beam at her.

Antonio raises an eyebrow. "But Marik's not-"

"Please," she pleads with her eyes. Antonio doesn't argue. He nods.

"I understand." And with that, he takes her menu and walks away to pass on our orders. Speaking of which, where's my menu?

I decide to talk to Anzu about my trip at Otogi's. She remains quiet and listens to me. Antonio made sure our orders get priority and he places two bowls of pasta as well as a plate of garlic bread on our table. Woohoo! My hand dives for the garlic bread and I watch as my hand goes through not just the bread but well, everything. Bakura said I didn't have to eat food anymore. Maybe what he meant was well, I can't.

Being able to go without eating or drinking.

The ability to soar through the clouds and go right through walls and objects and even people.

Not needing to care about my survival.

What do those things mean to me? They're what make me unusual. And it must've happened in that blank space where Bakura and I were driving to the hotel after Otogi's party and before I woke up. It doesn't make sense to me... this... alien experience.

When someone is in those circumstances... doesn't it mean that they...?

"Hey Anzu, can you hear me? The words coming through my mouth?" I ask her. She does not respond. Should I be taking that... as a no?

_"Hey Marik, you know how everyone says I'm different?" Bakura asked me as him and I were casually playing on the swings in the park between our houses. I raised an eyebrow and asked what of it. "They don't know why I'm different. But since you're my best friend, I'll let you in on a secret."_

_I grinned excitedly. Bakura was always acting mysterious when it came to talking about himself! Also it means he's finally chosen to trust me with stuff. I couldn't be happier. I jumped off the swing and beamed at him. "Awesome! Tell, tell!"_

_"Keep it in your pants, you loser," he replies with a smirk. My excitement dies down on the outside in a snap. "Most people don't believe me but well, you know how I find the occult and stuff like that to be mega cool?" I nodded quickly. "I can communicate with ghosts, you see. Yeah, I can see the dead. And I can give them an extra week in the world of the living at the cost of them forgetting the moment of their death. Fascinating, huh? Of course, I can't just prove it to you unless you can too and you've been hiding it! But uh... it's really the truth. I lie a lot but..."_

_"I know you can't make up powers like that for shit, okay?" I return his smirk. "You may lie a lot but hardly ever to me. So I'll believe you."_

_His eyes widened. "Seriously?"_

_"Sure. What have I got to lose?"_

_Bakura sighed."You really are something, Marik."_

The reason why only Bakura has been communicating back to me.

The reason why I don't remember what happened between driving back from Otogi's party to the hotel and the moment where I woke up.

The reason why Bakura whispered that day, "I can see you..."

I suddenly remember how Bakura looked that day. He was covered in bruises, cuts and blood.

And that day, he mentioned that his cellphone was broken.

And it was raining. So he started to walk along a path to the nearest telephone and he told me to follow him and he'd explain on the way. He told me not to look back. He told me when to go soar in the sky while he attended to some matters. Everytime I returned to him, he would battle back tears and welcome my return with a smile.

I loved him for every single moment we shared. And yet I was oblivious to the truth.

I got up from my seat and saw as Anzu did not eat a single bite of her food. There's no point talking to her for I get it now. I understand.

So I leave the restaurant and tell Bakura to take me to the park. He looks surprised but doesn't argue. We reach the park and smile if only a little. It's just the same as it was that day when we were ten years old and Bakura told me about how he could communicate with ghosts. Bakura sits down on a swing and watches as I swing from the bar holding the swings up using my legs. I can only go through the motions though for I can't feel the cool hard steel of bar. Not anymore.

Because I understand now.

Why everyone around me acts so strange around me.

Why they're so sad.

"Bakura, you couldn't bring yourself to tell me," I begin. Bakura bites his lip, unable to respond. "I get it, you know. I'm... I'm..." If only I could tear up the way humans can. Feel tears streak down my face and all that. But I can't do that. "I'm dead. I know. You couldn't bring yourself to tell me, could you?" I flip round and hover directly in front of him. "I'm dead, aren't I?"

"Stop saying that..." he growls but I already see the tears falling from his eyes. "I hate thinking about such things."

"But you never told me! Why couldn't you tell me?" I cry out loud."I spent the week in confusion, wondering why everything was so different! I couldn't understand why everyone dear to me was so sad. Now I've spent this week knowing that I've brought you pain and Anzu... Anzu went to the restaurant we were supposed to go to tonight by herself! And she was going to knit for me and we were supposed to get married! And Bakura, I know you love me and I feel that way too! But I remembered how you said you could communicate with ghosts! And how you can give them one more week on earth at the cost of not remembering their death! But I'm your best friend, Bakura! Why didn't you tell me what was going on?"

"I'm sorry! If I told you, you would've wanted to have gone and seen everyone. You would've spent the week telling me exactly how you wanted your funeral to be like and the week would've constantly been all about your death! I didn't want that at all!" he snaps. "I was selfish and wanted to have you all to myself as much as possible for your last week! And I wanted it to be as normal as possible as if it were just another week in our so-called lives. But then I remembered Anzu and I thought that maybe you ought to see her before you cross over. I really didn't want the week to be centred around death... I didn't want to face up to what was real so I didn't want you to see the reality of your situation either. I'm sorry, okay?"

...Oh Bakura... You always told me how you loved horror movies. The gore and the people always dying in fascinating ways. Yet deep down, you really can't handle it in reality. You can't handle those dear to you passing away. And you told me once that you were always shrouded by darkness since your mother and sister Amane died. But you also told me that I was the light, what kept him going.

And I know you'd probably happily swap places with me. You constantly complained to me about how your job wasn't working out and it was getting tough to pay the bills yet in this recession, quitting and trying to find a new job was definitely easier said than done. And I got a payrise recently and hell, I was supposed to get married. I might've truly started a family with Anzu while you Bakura, thought you were stuck being alone.

You know, I did want to reach out further to hold you. I think I always did love you just that bit more than Anzu. Because you were always broken and walked a different road to everyone else.

"I should've loved you more," I whisper just loud enough for him to hear.

"But you saw a bright future with Anzu and a dreary future with me," he whispers back quietly.

"Neither future is an option to me now," I point out with a wry smile.

"I don't really have a future either," he replies with the same smile.

One question tugs at my heartstrings still. "So Bakura... How did I die?"

Bakura scratches his head. "It's almost time up for you... So I guess I'll explain. We were driving to a hotel from Otogi's party and we were going through the countryside when some guy who was driving whilst drunk... his car collided with ours. You were sitting on the side in which his car crashed into. I was driving and managed to escape with minor injuries. But you and the other guy weren't so good. He was unconscious but he survived. I checked my phone but it was broken, as was yours. The guy's cellphone was working but there was no signal. So I tried to get you to wake up and soon I realised that you were dead. The initial shock didn't reach me yet and the next thing I knew, your ghost sat up from your lifeless body. And you said to me that you wanted one more week here at the cost of not remembering your death. I mean, now you know but you don't remember what it felt like or anything, right?" I nod. There really is no words I can say to all this. "But yeah, I don't know what's gonna happen to the guy cuz he caused the crash and you died and everything but... for some reason, that's not what I care the most about. It was just... spending this one last week with you."

I grin and lean over to touch his face. He smiles at this gesture. "Do you feel it?" I ask.

"Yeah."

"Good, because I think I can feel it."

He stands up. "Marik... It's time."

What? But there's so much more I want to say to you! I wish I could hold you in this state! Or maybe just another day! Another hour or another minute! I just need more time! I don't care if I have no more future! I don't care what more I have to sacrifice! "Is there a way to get more time?"

"Marik... You should go to the light now. Can you say hi to my mother... and Amane? Please?"

I shake my head. "But Bakura, I want to stay here with you!" I feel the light behind me. It's calling out to me. And my dead parents are standing there; their presence is strong. I feel it but I do not wish to embrace it. I don't want to leave Bakura. I don't know how he'll live on. He hated the way life was going and the last thing he needs is his best friend leaving him forever. What if he tried to follow me? I...

He sighs. "I can let you stay on the land of the living permanently. But you'll remain a ghost and your only memory will be your name. But I want you to cross over and move on."

"I'd rather be with you, okay? I don't want to part!"

Bakura and I look at one another longingly. I know he doesn't wish to part with me either. "Then do you want to stay here and have the only thing you know is that your name is Marik Ishtar?"

It's a quick snap decision. I nod.

He smirks at me. "Very well. May our next meeting be bloody brilliant."

A bright light envelopes me.

But I do not cross over.

For it's a different kind of a light.

It's a light where I can be on the same Earth as Bakura.

That's the future I choose.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-_Eight Years Later_-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

You try to find the words and you cannot. The feeling of being able to soar through the air and to see him watching you with the slightest of smirks gives me the greatest joy. Wide eyes with the blue skies as a young Egyptian man flies past the birds and past the clouds and eventually he'll lower himself to greet the person he looks forward to seeing each day of his life.

He's sitting on the rooftop of an old apartment building. Usually he's flicking through some horror novel. I remember the first time I discovered him. While floating aimlessly on this Earth, I see that white hair and dark eyes and a sinister yet strangely familiar and dare I say it endearing smirk. Why is it so familiar? Anyway, he was the first person to truly see me. He looked at me as if seeing me was the best thing in the world. It made me happy because nobody else in this world could see me. I'm not sure why.

So I made it part of my routine to always hover around the apartment building in the afternoons until he'd appear. When he did, he always acknowledged that I was there. I wonder if he knew how much that meant to me.

This is the first time I've directly approached him. "I've seen you around a lot!" I chirp and he replies to me too.

"And I you," he smirks. What a beautiful person... Even if he looks older than thirty. "You started hanging around since over a week ago. You look like someone I knew eight years ago." He sighs with such melancholic eyes. "Mmmm... eight years exactly."

I roll my eyes. "Yeah, I doubt you see blonde haired Egyptians often!" He chuckles at this. Ah, I made him laugh. "Well," I extend my hand to him, "my name's Marik Ishtar. And yours?"

He grins and reaches his hand out to mine. He doesn't seem to mind that my hand passes right through his. Amazing... This man really is something else. "You can call me Bakura. It's a pleasure to meet you, Marik."

The way my name rolls off his tongue is perfect. And so familiar. So so familiar. As if I had known this guy for years. But I'm not sure. Yet now I know I'm in a place that makes me happy.

You try to find the words and you cannot.

But it no longer matters.

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**Review?**


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